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When news broke that a prominent couple had been murdered and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it brought addiction back into the national conversation. However, parents affected by a child’s addiction fear the dialogue will focus on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the far more common risks of the disease.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the news. They only knew the Reiners by their work, yet they feel a connection: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years in and out of rehab and the legal system. After a long and painful struggle, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just devastating,” says Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters succumbed to the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s dependency, housing instability from addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to medical care or death, according to recent data.

Approximately one in six Americans, or 48.4 million people, had a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anybody, no matter how rich you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how influential you are,” stated Grover.

The Weight of Judgment

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the tragic events will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg added.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really dangerous and the potential for causing violence.”

She also cautioned against jumping to conclusions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is unclear whether drugs or psychological distress were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and this condition, and create a narrative to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his struggle.”

The Reality of Risk

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may increase aggression, a brutal act like a double homicide is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything even approaching to aggression. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is significantly more likely to harm themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with dread—not directed at their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my greatest terror. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot live at home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get a phone call or that knock on the door telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the hospital saying a son was not breathing; from jail, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some parental failure; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and dreading the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be content one day and in despair the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about three in four people with addiction are can become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can overcome this condition, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you fail, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a husband and a father, holds a university education, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “save” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to succeed,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone addicted to drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll reach out and take it.”